Mental health awareness has grown in popularity with recent movements to promote wellness among students. Today at UCI, we have tons of opportunities and resources (including WISE - check out the rest of our website!) purely for us to use to improve our mental health! This can look like consulting sessions at the counseling center, student events, and therapy dogs during finals week! De-stigmatization has also definitely helped us to feel less alone with our relative mental health struggles. But what did this look like for students 10 years ago? Was it harder to navigate depression and anxiety? Josh Miller (they/them), an academic counselor at the Social Ecology Advising office, met with me to speak about their own undergraduate experience and mental health journey. Josh attended a small religious college as an English major, and was incredibly open about their anxiety and depression. They began to first experience these symptoms when they began their undergraduate degree. Josh explains that one of their most difficult challenges was the decision to begin antidepressants. There was the learning piece to communicating with a psychiatrist and being talked to about different kinds of medications. “The psychiatrist that our school had, he kind of compared different meds he could put me on to ice cream flavors”, Josh explains. While a rather light-hearted metaphor, ice cream doesn’t necessarily alter aspects of your mindset and what you experience day by day. Josh discloses that their first few days of taking medication was really difficult due to the side effects they experienced. “The side effects were so intense, that, coupled with my own anxiety, made it really challenging.” Imagine already being an anxious person, and then being asked to try something completely new that may make you feel better or worse! Josh also found challenges in the intersection of religion, being on medication, and their sense of self. At the time, Josh practiced contemporary prayer, which they described as mindfulness with religion incorporated. Upon starting medication, the side effects leaked into how they would also experience their prayer and spirituality. “The medication piece can be really hard to navigate, because then you have to navigate… what’s me, what’s God, and what’s medication?” Josh also faced challenges in some mental health providers disrespecting their religious practices. They recall a psychiatrist they used to meet stating, “Praying isn’t going to solve your problems!” I think in this kind of scenario, it’s key to remember that religion is an incredibly important aspect of many people’s lives! It is also often a major support for those who actively practice, in terms of the actual spirituality and the community it builds.
Josh recalls their mother also expressing hesitancy towards them beginning medication. They explain how their mother has always been incredibly supportive of them and their mental health. “Sometimes, talking about mental health is challenging with her, not because she isn’t open to it…she’s been very supportive of me and my sister…but i still feel like there is this bit of resistance” in terms of the medication piece. I think many people can relate to this aspect of the family when it comes to mental health. Lots of the time, family members want to be supportive, but sometimes they may still be hesitant or not know how to express this support. Parents often also struggle with their own mental health, but their way of showing it often differs a lot from our own. This may be especially true for parents who have immigrated from a different country, or have different religious beliefs than our own. While I am no professional at relationships, I think it is important to acknowledge this disconnect as purely a disconnect, and not a lack of love or support for us.
For anyone beginning medication, the effects of it can present in all parts of life. Even though medication can often help someone, the change at first is nonetheless scary. Healing is not linear. However, Josh does explain that during their graduate years they were in a much better place in terms of their mental health. Today, as an academic counselor, Josh likes to think of their position as a way to support students in their mental health as well. Josh explains how they’ve noticed that students may like to disclose their struggles to them because they may seem less daunting than a mental health professional. Additionally, Josh is allowed to self-disclose what they are comfortable with to help support the student. They understand that as students, we often just need someone to acknowledge that our problems are valid and real, and someone who will listen to us. Throughout our conversation, Josh tells undergraduate students experiencing similar mental health challenges to “Show yourself as much compassion as you can.” I believe that when we are really struggling, we forget to be kind to ourselves. I know that I can be hard on myself when I am struggling, because all I will focus on are the things going wrong for me. Wellness is a journey that has no endpoint. I think we all need the reminder to show ourselves patience and to do things that make us happy.
If you are looking for new ways to get involved and practice self-care, follow us on instagram @uciwisepac for upcoming events where we bring the student community together to support one another and practice self-care. You can also join our Social Support discord at https://discord.gg/zP68vwXZ to form connections with other students in Social Ecology.
Introduction:
Josh attended college and became an English major largely due to their religion.
Josh attended a religious college
Believes that students had adequate mental health services
During their time in college, Josh began to struggle a lot with anxiety and depressive symptoms
Josh went on antidepressants and was struggling with the added symptoms they experienced when they began.
Josh also struggled with differentiating between who they were and what the medication was doing to them
“The medication piece can be really hard to navigate, because then you have to navigate… what’s me, what’s God, and what’s medication?”
“Getting started on antidepressant medication was super challenging for me”
“The psychiatrist that our school had, he kind of compared different meds he could put me on to ice cream flavors”
“I started taking it, and the first couple days I had the weirdest reactions to it.”
“The side effects were so intense, that that, couple with my own anxiety, made it really challenging.”
“When I was in grad school I was in a much better place.”
“I was on a medication carousel my fall semester of my master’s program.”
“Definitely mental-health wise in college it was navigating how the medications affect who you are, or do they?”
“Show yourself as much compassion as you can.” “Anxiety is not always bad”
“You don’t necessarily lose anything of you are”
“Try to stay plugged in with people who know you”
“Sometimes, talking about mental health is challenging with her, not because she isn’t open to it…she’s been very supportive of me and my sister…but i still feel like there is this bit of resistance”
Career Now:
Josh is an academic counselor at the SE advising office
“Existential crises-ed my way out of my PhD program”
Enjoys the fact that their role allows them to support students mentally in a less daunting way
Since they are not a mental health professional, there aren’t limits to what they can disclose
Knows that students sometimes just need someone to acknowledge their problems and say that they are real
Wishes position was more intellectually stimulating
Advice to students:
Have self-compassion
UCI Wellness and Counseling center
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